Personhood, Process, and Proud Papas

My daughter Willow turns ten tomorrow. She has undoubtedly made this the happiest decade of my life so far and I watch in perpetual wonder while she grows and changes. Willow is forging her own identity, trending toward independence and a strong sense of individualism. She loves cats and her stuffed animal pile has lost the Muppets and Pokémon with only the plush cats remaining. She loves listening to Imagine Dragons and Taylor Swift on her Alexa while Caspar Babypants and Laurie Berkner have long since disappeared from the playlists. She loves watching Salish Matter on YouTube and playing Roblox with her friends on her tablet. She rarely wants to watch a movie with Dad anymore, so I’m glad we binged watched every Star Wars movie when she was seven. She loves to roll her eyes at me and say “bruh” whenever I say a dad joke. For a long time now, she has taken every opportunity to push Mom and Dad out of the room so she could engage with other family and friends on her own terms. Willow is becoming herself.

This is just normal life, right? Growing up happens to us all, after all. That’s just it though, normal life isn’t so normal when you really think about it. Life is incredible and human existence becomes more wonderous the more you wonder. Ten years ago, shortly before Willow was born, I wrote an article called, “Personal Identity, Pregnancy, and Process Philosophy” that connected the dots on some big ideas in philosophy to my unborn daughter and who she might be someday. I asked ChatGPT to concisely summarize that five-thousand-word article here:

“This article explores the concept of personal identity, particularly in relation to pregnancy and process philosophy. The author contemplates questions of personal identity and the self in light of their wife’s pregnancy and the imminent arrival of their first child. They reflect on the different theories of personal identity put forth by philosophers such as Descartes, Locke, Hobbes, Reid, and Hume, and the challenges in defining personal identity over time. The article also delves into process philosophy, which suggests that personal identity is not based on static substances but on dynamic processes. The author applies this perspective to pregnancy, emphasizing that it is a process rather than a fixed entity, and argues that personal identity itself is a continuous process that evolves throughout a person’s life. The article concludes by expressing anticipation and excitement for their daughter’s arrival and the opportunity to witness her development into a unique individual.”

Willow has grown into a unique individual alright. There is one movement over the last year that encapsulates Willow’s individualism, as well as her own thoughts about her personal identity. I have been writing, recording and producing music over the last year and sharing it with Willow. She has been my biggest fan, but I was over the moon when she started writing lyrics and singing her own first song. Willow asked me if I could put music to it and help her record it, and it was such a pleasure to play the producer role for her. The track came out great. The song, “Why Can’t You See Me?” is Willow’s view of herself, her personal identity as she feels it today. Check out Willow’s lyrics and listen to her song below.

Why Can’t You See Me?

Chorus:
Why can’t you see me, see me?
What can’t you see me for who I am today?

Verse 1:
Why can you only see an innocent nine-year old girl?
Why can you only see what’s on the outside
When I ever so different inside
Even my friends and my family don’t even seem to know me

Chorus:
Why can’t you see me, see me?
What can’t you see me for who I am today?
Why can’t you see me, see me?
What can’t you see me for who I am today?

Verse 2:
Why can’t you see me for me?
I can’t even be myself around you
Why am I invisible?
Why is my inner self hidden?
Why do I have to hide my feelings, feelings?

Chorus:
Why can’t you see me, see me?
What can’t you see me for who I am today?
Why can’t you see me, see me?
What can’t you see me for who I am today?
Why can’t you see me, see me?
What can’t you see me for who I am today?
Why can’t you see me, see me?
What can’t you see me for who I am today?

By Willow Endicott (a.k.a. Violent Smiles)

Happy tenth birthday Willow!

Love Dad

Written by Jared Endicott